i've finally realised.

yeap. i've finally realised.

there's really no point in me holding on to something/someone so tightly.

i should've realised it last year when tears couldn't stop rolling down my face but i told myself i wanted to give it one more try, to make everything work, to make everyone stay together.

i've tried, i really have.

but it seems that i'm the only one trying, the last one standing.

i don't know what the future holds for everyone, for myself.

but i do know that they are not the ones whom i can hold on to till the day i die.

tears welled in my eyes when i watched Sex And The City.

"Isn't it supposed to be a happy/funny show?" you would ask....

it made me sad anyway. not 'cause my love life is empty but 'cause i realised that my friendship with everyone is as screwed up as my love life.

it feels good to be surrounded by good-lookers wherever i go. but whats the point of showcasing them for their looks when at the end of the day, they are just good-lookers who come & go out of my life within a blink of the eye.

when i raised that question to my friends, all they did was to pacify me and say things that they know will make me happy for a short while.

i know its not meant to be.

there's really no point in me wasting my tears on them.

i should never have prioritised them 'cause it was doomed right from the start.

i never knew it was so fragile, so superficial, so hypocritical.

i chose to ignore people's comments but come to think of it, their comments are true.

i hate to say this.

but i should have never let my old friends go.

it was a mistake.

not that i wanna go back to them.

but its a mistake i wish i didnt commit.

i've tried, i've cried, i've learnt and i'm finally letting go.