Counting down to Perth

let me see...

2 weeks & 2 days more, i'll be on my way to Perth.

that also narrows down to 2 more weekends to spend with the clique (considering the fact that we only meetup during weekends these days) =(

i can't imagine how accelerated time feels to me now. everyday just passes by so quickly.

with the endless parties that i'm attending, the awesome clubbing nights that i never miss out on, not forgetting the aimless nights when my clique-ers and i bum around in town w/o having any activity in mind.
but its all good. at least i get to spend some quality moments with everyone that i've known in this past year & a half.

i've been asked a couple of times, "when's your farewell party?"...
sorry guys, but i doubt there'll be any.

simply due to insufficient time left. and also insufficient funds! gosh!

but i promise, one last clubbing session with all of you.
oh, and for some others, dinner soon?

"2 more weekends" sounds a little too devastating for me,
'cause ever since work started out for me 4 mths ago,
the only time i really look forward to have always been weekends!
oh man!
as much as how i anticipate the new lifestyle that i'll have there,
i simply can't leave everything behind. it's easier said than done.

all the memories, all my loved ones, all the fun, all the tears, all the laughter.

i'm also shocked at how many things one has to go through,
just to finally get on that 5-hours flight to Perth,
and get a whole new life there.

application for visa, which btw requires u to answer this 3-pages full of medical history questions.
there were 2 particular questions which i hesitated upon reading them...
"Do you consume alcohol?" If yes, ____ a day.
"Do you, or have you ever smoked tobacco?" If yes, ____ a day.

Eh come on lah! yes i do drink, i do smoke... but how do u expect me to calculate how much i consume everyday?! duhhh!
besides, i don't drink everyday ya know!

and then there were chest x-ray, medical check-up...
anyhow... i've finally gotten my visa...

final thing to do....
grab an air ticket & get on that plane!

so meanwhile, while i'm still here....
lets just cherish the LOUD moments that you guys are definitely gonna miss when i'm gone.
And i seriously hope that someone can takeover my place as the "Glue"....
i still wanna be known as a member of Justtheclique when i return from Perth.

oh! and not forgetting....
Happy 21st Birthday Winston!
great party!
will upload my pics once i get my camera back!

Happy 20th Birthday Blackie Cai!
haha...
i love the 2years +++ friendship with u.
and its amazing how black you've become over these 2 years.... gawh!

start counting down now........................

the act of betrayal

hasn't exactly been a wonderful week for me.

it simply hurts to be betrayed by the people you love and you know that when this happens, there's no turning back.

everything will just end without a proper goodbye.

i can't bring myself to forgive people who have hurt me,
especially those whom i've entrusted all my secrets to,
whom i assumed could stay with me till the end of the race.

it scares me big time,
because i never ever expected these people to betray me.

i never know who's genuinely nice to me, who's not.

i feel like i was being made use of all the time, right from the start.

the person who i've cared for & doted on has been doing so many things behind my back.

i gave him a chance to explain himself, long time ago.

he never took the chance, he chose to hide it from me.

i promised myself i'll never forgive him.
simply because i can't bring myself to.

and right now,

i needa work on mending someone else's heart.

someone who really needs me now.

someone who needs all the care, concern & love in the world.

i'm here for you.

When your world Breaks down and the voices tell you, Turn around.
When your dreams give out, I will carry you.
When the stars go blind and the darkness starts to flood your eyes
When you're fallin' behind, I will carry you.

not forgetting my besties - Levin & Keith

thanks for tolerating my occasional intolerable tantrums, my wild temper & my endless grumbles.

Levin, good one on sat!

Keith, thanks for saying sorry. lol i'm sorry too.

iloveyouguys!

i've finally realised.

yeap. i've finally realised.

there's really no point in me holding on to something/someone so tightly.

i should've realised it last year when tears couldn't stop rolling down my face but i told myself i wanted to give it one more try, to make everything work, to make everyone stay together.

i've tried, i really have.

but it seems that i'm the only one trying, the last one standing.

i don't know what the future holds for everyone, for myself.

but i do know that they are not the ones whom i can hold on to till the day i die.

tears welled in my eyes when i watched Sex And The City.

"Isn't it supposed to be a happy/funny show?" you would ask....

it made me sad anyway. not 'cause my love life is empty but 'cause i realised that my friendship with everyone is as screwed up as my love life.

it feels good to be surrounded by good-lookers wherever i go. but whats the point of showcasing them for their looks when at the end of the day, they are just good-lookers who come & go out of my life within a blink of the eye.

when i raised that question to my friends, all they did was to pacify me and say things that they know will make me happy for a short while.

i know its not meant to be.

there's really no point in me wasting my tears on them.

i should never have prioritised them 'cause it was doomed right from the start.

i never knew it was so fragile, so superficial, so hypocritical.

i chose to ignore people's comments but come to think of it, their comments are true.

i hate to say this.

but i should have never let my old friends go.

it was a mistake.

not that i wanna go back to them.

but its a mistake i wish i didnt commit.

i've tried, i've cried, i've learnt and i'm finally letting go.